A Few Words Before You Step Into Christmas – Read This If You’re Dreading the Holidays

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Christmas is just around the corner — and how will you be spending it? Maybe you don’t celebrate Christmas? Maybe you’re heading home to parents who are going through a divorce? Or perhaps you’re on your own and don’t have muchp close family left?

Students and staff at NTNU have different personal circumstances — and this article is for you who either look forward to Christmas, or are quietly dreading it.

If you’re a student in your twenties, I can tell you that statistics show nearly 50 percent of students feel lonely at times. A colleague of mine said the other day that we’ve never had as many single-person households as we do now: 40 percent of all private households consist of just one person.

Recently I spoke with some students who felt pressured to have “the coolest New Year’s celebration,” wishing they had a big group of friends to spend it with — which they don’t. Many of their friends aren’t going home for the holidays this year, and they’re unsure who they’ll be with. 

They’re stressed about it. Some told me it feels strangely empty to go from a hectic study routine straight home, and that the contrast can be jarring.

I still remember feeling lonely during my own studies — even though my degree was intense and socially engaging. I still spent a lot of time alone in my free hours. 

Part of it was probably that I was one of the youngest, just 18, while many others were 2–4 years older. That meant I couldn’t always join them for parties or nights out, and I remember it being pretty tough. I also lived alone in a small apartment for almost two years, which didn’t help. 

Despite that loneliness, I have so many good memories from my student years, and I look back on my time in Oslo with warmth. Being lonely at times gave me a perspective I’ve carried with me — it made me want to care for others, include people, and create spaces where community can grow.

One year, I invited someone home for Christmas. Luckily, when I asked my family afterward if it was okay, none of them minded. This was years ago, when I was running a shop in Bodø. One of my employees was an exchange student. Everyone else had Christmas plans with their families — except her. 

She couldn’t afford to travel home (as is the case for many exchange students), and I felt it would be too sad for her to sit alone in her student apartment during the holidays, remembering my own experiences. 

So I invited her to Christmas dinner, and she came along to all the gatherings that year. It was a small gesture from my side, but for her it became a memory of a lifetime. And honestly — it felt especially meaningful to show her our traditions and watch how much she enjoyed it. My family also enjoyed it a lot.

There are so many expectations tied to Christmas and New Year’s. Gifts, how you’re supposed to act, what to say — or maybe more importantly, what not to say… Spending enough time with family, juggling multiple celebrations with children, stepchildren, or stepparents, deciding who you’re supposed to be with on New Year’s, the pressure to have a big friend group, the perfect social media photos. 

Maybe you feel like everyone else is gathered with “their own people,” while you’re the odd one out — the third wheel of Christmas. Everything I’m mentioning here is something people have shared with me just this past week. So if any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. <3

Right now, I’m in a pretty good place in life. The biggest drama in our Christmas celebrations is likely to be whether the roast pork gets its crispy rind — just as the plot twist of a cheap Hallmark Christmas movie on Netflix. Even though I feel some expectations too, I’m genuinely looking forward to lowering my shoulders and relaxing with friends and family.

But maybe that also gives me some responsibility — to be the one who takes a little extra initiative?

There are so many organizations where you can donate food or gifts for Christmas — they distribute them to people who need it. I’m most familiar with those in Bodø, but wherever you’re spending Christmas, look up what you can contribute to. 

Many places also need volunteers to help organize holiday celebrations. Or maybe, after reading this, you’ll invite an exchange student or an international colleague to your Christmas dinner? As a good colleague of mine often says: be generous.

And if money is tight, there are plenty of things you can do: go for a walk, go sledding, build a snowman — anything that doesn’t require much (except snow). Here’s some extra inspiration so ChatGPT can get a well-deserved Christmas break: Paint candles, make Christmas cards, stop by a Christmas market, play board games, do a puzzle, or go Christmas caroling.

Perfect Christmas photos always make me feel like everyone else is so successful and that I somehow fall short (maybe this is just something I personally need to work on?). 

Anyway — here are my Christmas wishes: let’s fill social media with silly, imperfect Christmas photos instead of images of “the perfect holiday.” 

To inspire you, here’s alovely Christmas picture taken this December.